We had a girls night out last night to celebrate Kim Brewer's b-day at Rosie's. There was about 12 or 13 of us and we had a blast. There were no kids screaming or crying or needing to go the potty right when you get your food. I love my kids dearly, but a night every once in a while with just the girls is good. I forgot my camera last night or I would have some pics to put on here of our dinner, maybe next go around I will remember.
Kensley is doing good, she went to the doctor yesterday to have her wrist x-rayed again and there is still one little spot that hasn't healed up all the way but he thought it was fine. I'm trying to schedule Kensley's procedure to have her botox injections done, but can't seem to get anyone to answer my phone calls, so I'm not real sure when that is going to take place, plus I have lots of questions I need them to answer. She has been through so much that I hate for to have to go through this too, but I know the Lord can help her and help us to see her through this if it is going to benefit her.
I couldn't wait for Spring and Summer to get here, but now that it is here I struggle with it more each day. Not because it is hot, but that my baby can't do everything she wants to be doing. She sees all the other kids outside playing, jumping, riding bikes, etc. and she wants to do those things too and how do you explain that to her. Winter time was a breeze because everyone was inside and played together and now that's its warm outside all the other kids are outside playing and a lot of times Kensley can't do the things they are doing, but they don't understand and I don't expect them to or even think for one second that they have to stay in with her, but it is just so hard sometimes to keep it together when everyone else is having so much fun and you are trying to console your daughter who just don't understand everything. Maybe we can get her a swing set or something that she can play with outside and that will help things some. Seems I have been an emotional wreck lately, just reflecting on the things that have happened and what she is having to go through. Nobody wants their kid to be the one that's different and can't participate with everyone else and I never thought I would be in this position, but now that I am I have a different perspective on things. I have questioned why us, what did we do wrong, why did it have to be Kensley and not me. All these questions have ran through my mind lately, but I know that God has a plan and in His time He will make all things right. I just need to learn to have patience and wait upon Him. I long for the day when she comes running and jumping in bed in the mornings or when she gets off the bus from school that she comes bursting through the door or when she can ride a bike again. I've always seemed to take all of those things for granted but not anymore, every little achievement Kensley makes is huge to us and we have learned to appreciate them more. I'm sorry to have been whining on all of your shoulders I just needed to let a little bit of it out today. I have learned a lot through this experience and just hope that I can be a good mother to her like she needs.
Konnor is doing well also, he spent the weekend in Tennessee with his cousin Jackson. Tomorrow he is going to work with my mom since it is take your kid to work day, but me or Dustin neither one could take him with us so my mom offered to let him go with her.
Well that's all for now, hope everyone has a good rest of the week.
To the Child I Carried After A Loss
8 months ago